In a stunning development, Donald Trump’s hair has surged in the latest Republican presidential nominee polls. Following a lackluster month in which no animals were reported to have misjudged it for brush, Trump’s hair has enjoyed a 10-point spike in recent polls in part due to the aggressive tactics by his new hair campaign adviser, Ken Paves. Said Paves, “I wanted to recapture the neo-modern swirl it had in the mid-80s while adding something that would exude confidence, playfulness, trust, and a complicated boldness.”
Trump’s hair’s surge may also be due to the uninspired and predictable looks of his competitors. Bobby Jindal’s “open book” haircut is slightly better than Scott Walkers “show them your entire forehead” look, but neither is fresh nor intriguing. Voters are also concerned with Mike Huckabee’s leftist hair part and Chris Christie’s too-low neck line. Interestingly, voters seem to be warming up to Jeb Bush’s self-styled salt-and-pepper hairdo and Rand Paul’s wave-puff.
It will be interesting to see if Trump’s hair can maintain, and build on, the lead as the campaigning moves into the upcoming cold and windy months.
CNN/BBC/Vidal Sassoon Poll +/- 2
Donald’s Trump’s Hair 22%
Jeb Bush’s Hair 17%
Rand Paul’s Hair 10%
A Wet Mop 7%
Chris Christie 2%
Miley Cyrus’ Hair 1%