Cool Arrows Cheating Scandal Uncovered

The world of baseball thought that it was done with revelations about cheating in its sport but a new investigation has uncovered a sinister plan that unfolded over several years and involves the team Cool Arrows from Dallas, TX.

While the case involving the Houston Astros, and other MLB teams, has rocked the baseball world, it is in Dallas that the most egregious cheating occurred.

We start with this image. In the Spring of 2006, at the height of their powers, the Cool Arrows had resorted to using makeshift electronic devices to steal the signs, and women, of opposing teams. The two circled hands show clear evidence of small electronic devices that were used to send mid-game signals to other players on the team. The players with glasses/shades (seven in total) had small sensors on their glasses that would buzz anytime a curve ball was going to be thrown. In the picture you can see “Easy E” making a confused face because “Big D” had pressed his buzzer during the taking of this photograph. You may wonder, how did this buzzer system work. Well…

When approached about these allegations, the team manager, pictured in the back with a goofy smile, sent our investigators a hazy picture to hide the evidence. Here is the picture sent to us.

After sending the picture to our forensics lab, they were able to un-pixelate the photograph and the results were stunning!

On the right hand side are who believe were the masterminds behind this plot. “The Leg” is at the far right, trying to hide his face, and in the black bag is the camera used to watch and steal the signs of opposing catchers. Next to him is “Wally” and you can see the injury to his left knee. After much investigating, and talking to various witnesses, “Wally” got the injury while climbing the poles in center field two hours before game time. It is suspected that alcohol was involved and he fell “2-3 times” according to Mary Wiggins who lived across the street and was out bird watching that morning.

If this wasn’t proof enough, our lead investigator scoured through thousands of pictures on MySpace and uncovered a picture taken the night of the Cool Arrows only victory in 2006.

In the picture you see, circled in red, two listening devices that were placed in the dugouts of opposing teams. A shady suspect on the left, known by his government name, “Nahum,” is believed to be staring at a stack of boxes with visual and audio equipment being stored at this facility.

Ultimately, though, it was this shady character that ended up being the main whistle blower in this case. While some may call him a snitch or rat, we like to refer to him as a hero of baseball’s legacy. In the picture below, taken in the Fall of 2006, “Nahum” is confronted by a pre-balding individual know as “Jones” after he finds out that “Nahum” might go to authorities with the information about the Cool Arrows.

We strongly hope that the MLB will do its due diligence in investigating these matters.

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